Grown-Up Lessons: Losing Touch

Throughout my years in this world, I've lost a lot of things: money, jewelry, coats/jackets, countless gloves and socks, occasionally my dignity and most unfortunately, friends.

As I've moved along my twisty life path, there are friends I've gained and lost along the way and some that will be there forever, no matter where I go. I don't want to sound callous about this because it still makes me incredibly sad, but the reality of growing up is that life happens and along the way, you lose track of people and they lose track of you. This doesn't mean you stop caring about these people; it doesn't mean that there are any hard feelings; and it certainly doesn't mean that the door is permanently closed on that relationship. Long-distance friendships are hard and I'm thrilled and grateful that I can maintain the relationships that I do manage to hold on to, especially my 5 college roommates, who I'm pretty confident will forever be a part of my life.

I am one hundred percent a culprit of losing touch as much as anybody, but I have legitimate reasons for it, just as many others do. My husband and I were long distance for a large part of our relationship and unfortunately, some of the time I might have spent on friendships I spent keeping phone dates and traveling across the country for visits. That's probably the largest reason I've lost touch with some friends, but there were others. I lost touch with a few good friends during my senior year of college because we kind of starting hanging out with different groups. Although I had no ill will toward my friends,  I wasn't particularly fond of the people with whom they spent most of their time. Also, I had begun seriously dating my now-husband around the same time, so I was spending a lot more time with his friends and our friends from our abroad program. Again, it wasn't any inciting incident. There was no big falling out. We just grew apart. This was something that used to bother me a great deal, and I used to feel an incredible amount of guilt about my part in this separation. What I've realized, however, is that firstly, it takes two to grow apart in these situations and secondly, that it was actually a pretty natural progression because of the courses our lives took.

In Appreciation of Getting Older

Hi friends! Sorry I've been gone again for awhile, our October is completely cray-cray (that's crazy for people who speak normally). Danny and I were in Chicago for the wedding of one of my dear friends and we had such a wonderful time, but it was quite the busy whirlwind trip. All of my college roommates were there and in the wedding in some fashion, as were their significant others, so there was a lot of catching up and squealing (mostly on the girls' part) and general silliness. I got home Sunday night and in the little time I've had to breathe and think and process since returning home, I began to reflect on how we're all growing up. People are getting married, moving in with boys (gasp!), buying houses, getting promotions and planning for the future. It's just so amazing to think that 5 and a half years ago, the six of us girls were living in squalor in a crappy house together and loving every minute of the Sex and the City marathons, Wendy's runs and beer pong. Don't get me wrong, we all still indulge in the occasional SATC marathon, Wendy's is still delicious and beer pong does pop up occasionally, but obviously we're in a new stage of our lives.
 

 

In Appreciation of Girlfriends

So I'm not comparing myself to Carrie Bradshaw in anything other than the fact that she had amazing girlfriends and so do I. By amazing I mean fun, loyal, honest, hilarious and unconditionally loving. What I envy Miss Bradshaw is that her closest friends are in the same city as she is, while my besties are scattered around the country. I've acquired a few amazing girls to hang with in D.C. and that has been great, but there is no one like my college roommates. Maybe it's because we lived together; maybe it's because by virtue of them being in college with me they saw me at both my very worst and best; maybe it's that we just hit the jackpot with each other. Whatever the cause, my college roommates are the girls I call when anything big happens in my life; they are the people I worry about the most outside of my husband and family; they are the girls I asked to stand with me as I married my husband; and they are the people with whom I still have the best conversations.

Like the ladies of Sex and the City (who we spent hours watching in our college living room together), the six of us couldn't be more different but we somehow just fit. The 6 of us together represent pretty much every personality trait, physical attribute and opinion under the sun and I wouldn't have it any other way.

Why am I reflecting on this you may ask? Well it's because I started watching Season 6 of Sex and the City and every time I see those four fabulous ladies, I ache for my girlfriends. Even though it's a television show, I think Carrie, Samantha, Miranda and Charlotte are role models for us women as a group of friends because no matter what goes on in their lives, their friendships are constants and they always make time for each other. That's been the case for us 6 so far, and I think we will continue our tradition of girl weekends, email updates and long phone catch-up sessions. No matter what happens, we will always be the 6 of us in a little part of our hearts and to quote SATC's heroine, "well, that's just fabulous."