New Year's Resolutions

I’ve always been against making New Year’s resolutions. That seems like a fairly innocuous to have a negative stance on, but it’s true. My philosophy on New Year’s resolutions has kind of been, why should I need a number on a calendar to inspire me to make decisions for bettering myself? Shouldn’t it be something with more depth, like my family or my husband or my own well-being that inspires self-improvement? I always felt like New Year’s resolutions were made to be broken and if you just made “life resolutions” instead, with real motivation behind them, you were more likely to keep them.

Well, this year, I realized I was kind of wrong. (I’m a lawyer, that’s the closest you’ll get to me admitting I’m incorrect about something.) The holidays hit, which was wonderful, I took time off of work, got out of the city, even left the internet behind for the most part. I obviously still checked facebook and people.com, let’s not get crazy here, but mostly, I gave myself a much-needed break from being constantly overstimulated. I spent some serious quality time with family, the hubs and old friends. I had no-holds-barred, uncomplicated fun. I recharged my batteries. Most of all, I had time to think, not worry or stress, but think.

It was exactly what I needed and guess what? It happened right at the New Year. It makes sense to me now that the time that people make resolutions for themselves is right after the time that they get to take a break from all the crazy of daily life. Also, being with those most important to you does a great job of putting things in perspective. It also makes sense that the most common of New Year’s resolutions, to lose weight, comes on the heels of the holidays. I had a similar realization during all this self-reflection and time off. Not to lose weight so much as to be healthier. After having a ready supply of candy and baked goods at hand for a few weeks, not to mention many a happy hour and rich meal, I felt like I needed to cleanse myself. Since drinking nothing but water, lemon juice and cayenne pepper has never been my style, I decided to do it a little bit more realistically. Eating more vegetables, looking for new and interesting ways to cook them so life didn’t feel like a salad, cutting out as much sugar and rich dairy as possible and trying to exercise almost every day has made me feel great, look better and ultimately, it’s actually been somewhat enjoyable too. I’ve always loved to cook and be creative in the kitchen and it’s led me to the discovery of some new favorite meals that include some great healthy ingredients. I’ll share one with you all right now. My new favorite dessert is a Chocolate-Peanut Butter-Banana Milkshake, but healthy. Yes, I’m serious. I put a teaspoon of unsweetened cocoa, a heaping teaspoon of reduced fat peanut butter, a cut up banana and about a cup of almond milk in a blender and I kid you not, it tastes ah-mazing. I’m not a “healthfood” person in that I don’t usually fall for healthy substitutes for delicious things, but no joke, this is a treat that’s delicious all on its own. I highly recommend it.

My other resolution, which seems weird for someone with a blog, is to spend less time on the internet. Of course, I will still blog, especially because it’s wonderful to write like this and I'll still occasionally tumbl and I can’t keep myself from checking facebook, but especially when I’m at home, I don’t want to be spending my relaxation time looking at a screen. It’s much better for me to have some no screen time occasionally. To put away the many electronic devices for a bit, turn off the TV, put on some music or even enjoy some silence and read or write in a notebook. I’m learning the value of quiet, which is such a turn around for me because I’m not a quiet person and I’ve been known to have music playing, while the TV’s on, while doing something on the computer. But now, I just need some quiet time in my day.

So I guess I’m a convert to New Year’s resolutions. I had time to focus on what’s important and I hope that making a few small changes will help me with that even more. I hope you all had wonderful holidays, that you all had time to reflect and get excited for the coming year and I am looking forward to getting back on the blog!

Grown-Up Lessons: Losing Touch

Throughout my years in this world, I've lost a lot of things: money, jewelry, coats/jackets, countless gloves and socks, occasionally my dignity and most unfortunately, friends.

As I've moved along my twisty life path, there are friends I've gained and lost along the way and some that will be there forever, no matter where I go. I don't want to sound callous about this because it still makes me incredibly sad, but the reality of growing up is that life happens and along the way, you lose track of people and they lose track of you. This doesn't mean you stop caring about these people; it doesn't mean that there are any hard feelings; and it certainly doesn't mean that the door is permanently closed on that relationship. Long-distance friendships are hard and I'm thrilled and grateful that I can maintain the relationships that I do manage to hold on to, especially my 5 college roommates, who I'm pretty confident will forever be a part of my life.

I am one hundred percent a culprit of losing touch as much as anybody, but I have legitimate reasons for it, just as many others do. My husband and I were long distance for a large part of our relationship and unfortunately, some of the time I might have spent on friendships I spent keeping phone dates and traveling across the country for visits. That's probably the largest reason I've lost touch with some friends, but there were others. I lost touch with a few good friends during my senior year of college because we kind of starting hanging out with different groups. Although I had no ill will toward my friends,  I wasn't particularly fond of the people with whom they spent most of their time. Also, I had begun seriously dating my now-husband around the same time, so I was spending a lot more time with his friends and our friends from our abroad program. Again, it wasn't any inciting incident. There was no big falling out. We just grew apart. This was something that used to bother me a great deal, and I used to feel an incredible amount of guilt about my part in this separation. What I've realized, however, is that firstly, it takes two to grow apart in these situations and secondly, that it was actually a pretty natural progression because of the courses our lives took.

The Girly Feminist

I can't count the amount of times I've tried to replicate this very outfit.

A few years ago, my mom gave me this comic strip. It showed a picture of a little girl dressed like a fairy princess, much like the one pictured above. The little fairy princess looks up at her mom and goes "Don't worry Mom, I'm still a feminist. Just a pretty pink one!"

I don't think anything could capture me and my attitudes so perfectly. I absolutely adore being a girl. At 28 years old, pink remains my favorite color; I have the same affinity for things that sparkle as that of a baby bird; I love dresses and new shoes; I frequently change the color of my nails; I drive a Volkwagen Beetle, with a giant fake pink gerbera daisy in its precious dashboard vase; I prefer a rom-com to a football game; I have read Nora Robert's Bride Quartet books more times than would ever be necessary. I'm a girly girl! Proud of it!

However, that doesn't mean that all of my girlfriends are girly girls or that I look down on anyone that isn't super girly or that I'll throw a fit if the group wants to watch March Madness instead of Footloose (although the reasoning may allude me.). I'm down with all variations of girldom and I enjoy it when I get to be exposed to things outside my pink sparkly bubble. That's what I love most about being a girl; there are lots of ways to be one, each as awesome as the next.

In Appreciation of Getting Older

Hi friends! Sorry I've been gone again for awhile, our October is completely cray-cray (that's crazy for people who speak normally). Danny and I were in Chicago for the wedding of one of my dear friends and we had such a wonderful time, but it was quite the busy whirlwind trip. All of my college roommates were there and in the wedding in some fashion, as were their significant others, so there was a lot of catching up and squealing (mostly on the girls' part) and general silliness. I got home Sunday night and in the little time I've had to breathe and think and process since returning home, I began to reflect on how we're all growing up. People are getting married, moving in with boys (gasp!), buying houses, getting promotions and planning for the future. It's just so amazing to think that 5 and a half years ago, the six of us girls were living in squalor in a crappy house together and loving every minute of the Sex and the City marathons, Wendy's runs and beer pong. Don't get me wrong, we all still indulge in the occasional SATC marathon, Wendy's is still delicious and beer pong does pop up occasionally, but obviously we're in a new stage of our lives.
 

 

Writer's Block

I haven't posted in quite awhile because really and truly, I'm having trouble coming up with post ideas lately. That's not true, I have plenty of ideas but I don't like any of them. It's like that feeling where you know you're craving something to eat but you can't figure out what it is and everything that's suggested to you sounds like doo doo. That's how I feel about my post ideas right now. So I've heard that the best way to cure the dreaded writer's block is just to make yourself write and eventually you'll get past it. Hence this stream-of-consciousness I'm treating you fine people to right now. You're welcome.

On Being Sick or as I think of it, The End of the WORLD

Me. RIGHT NOW.

When I was little, being sick wasn't so bad. I got to stay home from school, watch soaps and The Princess Bride (ok, that didn't start until I was like 8 or so because I was afraid of the Rodents of Unusual Size and the Six-Fingered Man until then), eat chicken soup, basically get a free lazy day. My mom would make me a special sick bed on the sofa that I got to feel cozy and snuggly on all day. Aside from the achy feverish feeling, it was kind of awesome. In high school, sick days got even better because by that point I had discovered the BBC's 6-hour Pride and Prejudice mini-series and I watched all 6-hours in their empire-waisted, British-accented, Colin Firth-filled entirety every time. I miss those days.

I also remember when I was younger whenever my dad was sick. My mom would always say, "When your dad's sick, no one else in the world is sicker (more sick?) than him." Well, thanks a lot Dad, because now that's me.

I used to be a trooper when I was sick. I would slurp my chicken soup and quietly watch TV without complaint. I would try to go to school the next day even if I still felt somewhat bad. Well now that I'm an adult, that is OVER.

I am no longer any form of trooper. I hate troopers. In fact, when I'm sick, I hate everything. No one feels as bad as me right now and I hate everyone and everything because of that. I'm like 15% sure I'm dying even though all I have is a low-grade fever and what appears to be some sort of cold, but whatever, it's SERIOUS.

The turning point was when I went to college and suddenly I kind of had to fend for myself when I was sick. I would feel sick, walk into the living room of my apartment and go, "Where's MY SOFA SICK BED?!?" I would walk into my kitchen and go, "Where's my CHICKEN SOUP!?" I'd look at my planner and realize I had a mandatory class to attend and go, "Where's my SICK NOTE?!" Oh right, you need a mom for that. I had a mom, but not with me in post-high school land (ok, so my parents lived 10 minutes from my college campus, but I didn't live at home anymore and who knows what she was up to when her life didn't have to revolve around me and my sick needs anymore!). And sick notes don't work on college professors. And the chicken soup from the dining hall tasted like booboo.

NOT the dining hall's chicken soup.

Then law school came. I lived in Chicago in a small apartment with my cat. Well, my cat was useless when I was sick. Even crappy chicken noodle soup wasn't a 10-step walk away. And so my self-pity during illness continued to snowball out of control.

Now we come to present time where I live in Adult Land. I have a job. I can't just take sick days especially because I'm saving my leave time for holidays, so I have to go to work. I have to wake up at 5:45 in the morning with a fever and mucus pouring out of my face and go to work and get everyone else sick. Suck it coworkers! I have to try and look presentable which is really hard when your face is running. Yeah, my face. Not just my nose because I'm sicker than EVERYONE.

Now I have a husband, so you'd think, awesome! Someone to pity me and take care of me! (He's back in town by the way, yay!) But no. He's a med student. Not that he isn't helpful to a reasonable degree, but he is every bit aware of just how sick I am, which does not match how sick I am in my head, 15% chance of dying. He just tells me drink a lot of water and eat Coldeeze which have a weird aftertaste and I hate them. The problem is, it's not him at all. He's actually great and perfect for a normal sick person. But I am not. I am a sick MONSTER. I don't even know what I want him to do. I just want him to pull an I Dream of Jeannie and do the crossed-arm, head-bob, winky thing and make me better. (Plus, seeing him do that would be priceless.) If I could go home now and have a sick day high school style, I'd probably still be a nightmare because I'm at the point now where my self-pity knows no bounds. Now go away. I hate you. I hate everything. I need Kleenex.

My Teenage She-roes

I have two amazing 17-year-old women in my life. One is my sister-in-law, Lizzie and the other is a young lady that I tutor in English, Kelsey. These girls give me faith in the younger generation because they are smart, down-to-earth, confident and amazingly drama-free for teenage girls. They are a step ahead of their peers for sure. Of course they have emotions and worries and problems like everyone else, but it's in the way they deal with those problems and don't let them affect their personalities or relationships that make them so wonderful.

First my sister-in-law Lizzie. She's seriously one of the coolest people I know and by cool I mean, truly cool without even trying. First of all, and this is by no means the most important thing about her, she is a great dresser. She wears clothes that are relaxed, fashion-forward and age appropriate all at the same time. Her awesome dressing ability, however, is a reflection of her great personality. She is also astoundingly busy for someone her age between school, sports, volunteering and other extracurriculars, but it seems like she still always invests a lot of effort into the people she cares about, her family and friends. She's got her priorities straight at 17, a feat that I still struggle with at 27. Of course she's still learning about herself and her place in the world, but I feel like I can learn a lot from her too. Oh, and she's gorgeous and tall, so she's pretty much the total package. I'm stoked that my children will share genes with her and look to her as a role model because she already makes a good one.

Danny and I with my siblings-in-law. Seriously, how cute is she?

Kelsey is another young woman from whom I've learned a great deal. Honestly, if she and Lizzie knew each other, I'm pretty sure they'd be friends because they share many similar qualities. I began tutoring Kelsey last year before I got my current job and needed some extra money. Now that I have a full-time position, tutoring isn't really essential financially, but I have no intention of giving it up because I genuinely look forward to my time with Kelsey. I love working with her because she genuinely likes learning. She's also outgoing and fun and enthusiastic, but my favorite thing about her is her curiosity and hunger to learn. I love talking with her about her assigned books from English and seeing her think of something in a different way or suddenly realizing a new point that she hadn't before. Honestly, I also think my working with her has indirectly led to my writing on this blog. She's helped me rediscover my love of expressing my thoughts in writing because I've been helping her do just that for the past year and watching as she genuinely grows to enjoy it as well.

Basically these two young ladies have been inspirations to me and no doubt to the other people around them. These girls are going to do great things, and in fact, I think they already have, just by being themselves. Thank goodness for these girls and others like them, because the world can use every amazing woman it can get.

The Cloud: Also Known as the Inside of my Head

Since I'm just not in the mood for a traditional and possibly too-wordy post (sorry about that readers, I'm working on it), here are just a few random musings I've been having:

 
*It's listed on the sidebar of my blog, but I want to talk about it more because it's that great. HelloGiggles.com is such a triumph for female voices (but there are awesome men who write for it too!) This website's articles make me think, laugh and, twice so far, cry. I feel empowered to put more of myself out there because of this wonderful forum and it's my goal one day to submit a post and get it published on this site.

*They're remaking Footloose. My current position on this is somewhere between indifferent and disgusted. However, it inspired me to watch the original last night. ZOMG I love this movie. I danced along with about 5 scenes. Also, Kevin Bacon is a pretty tiny guy in this movie and still SUCH a stud. Good work KB.

*Don't you hate when something about a person annoys you and then you're alerted to that annoyance so that they annoy you at an intensity that increases with each interaction? I need to do some kind of voodoo mind trick on my own brain so I desensitize myself to these tics.


*Why do I own so many fancy (aka purchased at Sephora) lip glosses when I primarily use Cherry Chapstick? Seriously, do I need 3 different kinds of Lip Venom?

*Sports fan is never really a phrase used to describe me, but lately I've been getting interested in football. Not just in the final score either. I'm paying attention to actual plays and you know what? I'm kind of riveted. Running football plays is not unlike executing a well-blocked scene in a theatrical production and that warms my Theater-major heart.

*I appreciate my husband for lots of reasons, but one that's been cropping up a lot lately is that he makes me want to cook for him. Now that he's gone, I don't have that inspiration. Cooking for one is really difficult to get motivated for, especially because I'm kind of a leftover snob. One more reason he needs to come home soon.

*My latest DVD purchase was Season 3 of Parks and Recreation. I told my husband we had to get it for the betterment of our marriage because Ron Swanson brings out the best in each of us.

Not from Season 3, but come on guys, BREAKFAST BUFFET.

*Do you have those things you wish you liked but no matter how many times you try them, you just can't? For me, those things are running with no other purpose (i.e. not soccer or basketball or something with a goal other than getting to another place), coconut, American Idol and any type of shorts on myself, even if they're considered "flattering for my body type." I have changed over on some former items in this category however, so who knows, maybe in 10 years I'll be a marathoner. HA! I seriously just laughed out loud at the thought.


*Finally, I titled this post The Cloud because I still don't have a very accurate understanding of what the Cloud is. In my head it's just a bunch of Internet thoughts floating around out there somewhere in a pretty blob that in my version includes glitter and/or sparkles (See below for a loose approximation). This post (and really, my blog in general) would be a good example of my idea of the Cloud: stuff I like out in the land of Internets.

 

In Appreciation of My Parents

I've been away from the Internets for the Labor Day weekend and I missed it, but I didn't. The main reason I did not really miss the Internets is because my parents came to visit. I'm just going to get this out of the way and sorry if it sounds too braggy, but My Parents Are Awesome. For real, they are two of my best friends (and that's not because I have no other friends) but they still manage to be parents too in the support me all the time, give me candid advice and not spoil me rotten kind of way. I love them and not just because I have to.

My dad is hilarious, generous and protective without being overbearing. My mom is truly kind, fun and is my willing sounding board whenever I need to vent, which is often. I should also mention that I'm an only child, but I wouldn't have it any other way. Not because I get everything I want and am super spoiled but because we are a team, the three of us. I'm sure siblings are awesome but I didn't feel like I was lacking anything from not having them when I grew up other than a well-developed pain tolerance. (No really, I immediately cry when I get smacked on the butt. It happened twice in high school. Twice.) The reason my childhood felt so full is because of my mom and dad and the choices they made in raising me and the people they are as role models.

This weekend when they came to visit, it was like vacation even though I was technically the hostess. That's because with my parents I have lots of fun, eat great food, laugh a lot and feel completely myself all the time. It's not stressful. Well, it's not stressful except when I'm trying to figure out what to order at the next awesome restaurant they take me to. Did I mention I eat really well when they visit? Thank god my mom and I went to hot yoga too!

The last part that's great about my parents is that I'm self-aware enough now where I can recognize I get some of my best qualities from them. My mom passed on her passion for music, movies and television. I am a pop culture junkie thanks to her. My dad passed on his ability to make people laugh (which I like to think I do) and a desire to entertain. I have my mom's smile and blue eyes like my dad. I sound like my mom when I laugh and talk (so I've been told, a person never really knows what they sound like to other people) and I have inherited a lot of my dad's mannerisms. From both of them I've inherited the abilities to be fiercely loyal, to give really good hugs and to be passionate about what I love. They are the best parts of me and I feel so lucky that I have two such extraordinary people to call Mom and Dad.