In Appreciation of Marriage

That handsome man you see above is my husband, watching me walk down the aisle to begin our life together. We've been married just over a year now and it has been the best, most challenging, most rewarding and most surprising adventure of my life. I find myself reflecting on how much I enjoy marriage to Danny especially lately because he has to be away from me for two away rotations. 1 week down, 7 to go. With him gone, I am living the life of a pseudo-single girl again and I can't say I enjoy the change. It feels like a crucial part of my support system is gone, even though I get to talk to him every day. It's like when you hang a big poster on the wall and you only put a small amount of tape in the four corners and it's all billowy and not really stuck to the wall and then you realize "Oh! I should put some tape right in the middle!" Well I feel like I'm missing my middle piece of tape. I'm still stuck to the wall, I'm just not stuck to it all that well. Does that make sense? If not, try hanging a big poster and you'll get what I mean.

The thing is, although it wasn't 100% jelly beans and rainbows the entire time (because nothing worth doing is, even though jelly beans are delicious), Danny and I have become a team during our first year of marriage. We tackle things together and we can trust each other to hold one another up when we find ourselves struggling. That's not to say we weren't there for each other before but there's a gravity to our support for each other that wasn't there before we got married. Now I'm all about being an independent lady and girls are just as good if not better than boys and all that awesome girl-power empowerment. But here's where you're going to get a slightly hot button opinion from me for the first time. Anyone who is in a relationship and doesn't want to get married (which is a totally fine and valid life choice) that says "It's not like anything is going to change, it's just a piece of paper!" Well, they're wrong. Because even though Danny and I were the same people we'd always been, things changed the day we got married and I'm not just talking about giving up closet space. When you stand up in front of everyone you know or even just a justice of the peace and make solemn promises to each other and become husband and wife, there's a shift in your reality. You become part of a "we" in way that you were not before. As a direct result of this shift, marriage has changed me for the better. I'd like to think I'm less self-centered now because when I think about big decisions or even small ones, I think about them now in terms of "how will this affect US?" rather than "how will this affect ME?" Being married has also given me a sense of calm and security that I never had before even though I knew Danny loved me and was committed to me. It's not just a security in being loved, it's a security in having someone next to you on your life's path.

I don't mean to make you gag, and I know that this is a lot of "us" and "we" talk for an only child, but that's what marriage has changed for me. I hope it continues to do this because honestly, I love it. I love that when I'm looking through our DVR trying to decide what to watch I save the new episode of The Office to watch with him. See how selfless I've become? It's crazytown. So thank you marriage (and Danny) for making this only child a team player. I promise I'll be back to talking about myself tomorrow. And just to lighten up this mushy love talk:

Doesn't Ron look almost as content as Danny above? I think so. And I'm very happy that the sight of me walking down the aisle made Danny as happy as a bacon-wrapped turkey leg made Ron. That's seriously high flattery folks.